Okay, let's be honest...this summer has been amazing!

Some of my favorite photos from the last few weeks....it's been a while since I've posted pictures!

Silly Interns in the rickshaw!


Me, Nancy and Vijay doing yoga


Student's Dance Class


Group discussion at the UNAIDS Conference


Looking professional at the UNAIDS Conference


The Whole Gang! (and the dogs)

Last Day of Work

It is that time of summer-time for the final goodbye to the wonderful Maitri Team. It is my last, bittersweet day of work today and I am astonished at how much I have changed this summer, and I know that I won’t realize the depth of change until I’ve arrived in Salt Lake City and get back to “real life.” Already though, I have started to notice my life blending into the Indian way-of-life. No longer am I blatantly aware of the poverty and living conditions of my neighbors or those who come to beg at my car window. I no longer register that I am on the streets of Delhi; rather it seems to be the streets of a place called home. Everything is strikingly familiar, and yet, so temporary to me. I leave on Tuesday, and won’t be waking up to the racket of the pigeons outside of my bedroom window. I won’t be squishing into the tiny, antique rickshaw that inches me through Delhi pollution and traffic to get to work. I won’t be blasted with the most blissful wall of air conditioning as I walk through the doors of the Maitri office. I won’t be greeted in the high pitch, whining voices of the students “GOODMORNINGMA’AM”. Nope. Instead, at this time next week, I’ll be somewhere unknown again-somewhere that I become blatantly familiar of each new thing, and where I feel like an outsider looking in. My routine is going to shift drastically, and instead of focusing on work-related issues, and becoming accustomed to new living conditions, I will be sightseeing as a bona fide tourist. Upon arrival from Africa I experienced reverse culture shock, and similarly I worry that I will go through the same feelings. Only, instead of being in the comfort of my home, I will be among strangers and on the road (or in the sky, or in a river). So, how will I cope with reverse culture shock while simultaneously coping with regular culture shock?

What an amazing experience this has been! This India place sure is intoxicating. I caught glimpses of my love for India throughout the trip. Sometimes, the glimpse even lasted a couple days, or a week. But you never realize the extent to which you love something until you don’t have it. And I am realizing, while packing up all of my belongings and wrapping goodbye presents, that this is one of those places that I’m going to reminisce forever.

Stay tuned folks for another country another day!
Peace.

HIV Workshop at the Modern School

This morning, we woke up really early, and went to this beautiful school to conduct our last HIV workshop-this one focusing on drug and substance abuse. The group was about 30 students in "class 12" who were participatory and eager to answer our questions. The workshop began with a brief summary of HIV/AIDS, then we talked about discrimination and stigma. The students brainstormed adjectives for how they feel when they are accepted in a group and when they are discriminated against. We explained that people who are HIV positive often deal with discrimination on a daily basis. Then, we discussed how to balance power and fight stigma. The students had encouraging responses, such as, "treat others the way you want to be treated" and "become educated and aware of HIV." After a brief skit about a girl who became HIV positive after having unprotected sex when she was drunk, I transitioned into drug awareness, ways to talk about drugs with your family and friends and ways to say no. The students seemed to have a strong grasp on the subject matter. Even though they said that they didn't encounter pressure to do drugs, they made it apparent that it was an issue that other students at their school face and that they would likely face if they went to college. I always get a sense of gratification after the workshops. If I helped keep one student drug free today, it was a success. If they can remember one message about discrimination that was discussed today, it was a success.

Also, some promising news on the dance show....it looks like it will possibly be happening on Wednesday! Blog readers: KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME!!!

Yesterday was our last day with Winnie and the General. They left for the USA last night so they had us over for a delicious, mouth-watering lunch. I will truly miss the tomato paste paneer. It is my most favorite Indian dish, with such a savory medley of sweet and creamy flavors. The squares of cheese squish between your teeth with an almost squeaky sensation. This other dish, which resembles white chunky lumps, has been slowly growing on me as well. From what I can tell, it is chick peas mixed with sour cream and something else to make it rather watery. Dripping this on top of red beans and rice is such a lovely combination of tang. Then, it must be mentioned...the vanilla ice cream (unlike any vanilla I've ever tasted, a heavenly, out of this world delight) and mango dessert is truly a scrumtrulescent highlight of the meal. I will definitely miss Winnie and the General's powerful presence in the office. They are the most kind and generous people, yet without words, they demand respect in a way that is unmatched. I've never felt so welcome and comfortable and yet simultaneously on the tip of my toes and uneasy in my life.

I can tell that I am getting anxious for the next leg of my journey. I received the documentation and travel itinerary yesterday and last night, I couldn't sleep because I was so wound up thinking about how much room I will have in my suitcase, and what I need to bring. There is so much to think about! This part of the trip has been poorly planned, likely because it is at the very end and because I figured it would all be taken care of through the tour agency that I'm going with. But after reviewing the information, I'm realizing that I need to focus on what is in my near future....Bangkok, Cambodia and Vietnam.

And, I'm homesick. Terribly homesick and tired of traveling. My whole body is tired and I am yearning for the comforts of home. I know that I just need to buck up because I will look back and think of this trip as one of the best experiences of my life. However, at this point in the summer, going on a trip where I'm traveling somewhere new every day and sightseeing from sunup to sundown sounds like death. I'm just ready to sleep in my own big bed, see my beautiful dog and eat a burger. Enough of this vegetarian shit.

Peace.

No title.

It is the second to last week here and we are still working on the dance performance…hoping, somewhat in vain, that the show will happen, though at this point I’m highly doubting it. I need to think optimistically though. It is amazing the way that things are pulled off here!

We have also been asked to compile a couple of reports for the OMAXE project. One on health concerns such as health equity, and another on social capital. Working with these interns has been extremely efficient. We are able to divvy up work and finish whole reports in a matter of hours! If only I was able carry them with me for the rest of my life!

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the Tata Sky lately. For those of you who are not aware of what Tata Sky is, it is basically direct TV, only with far fewer English channels. When I’m not at work, I’m letting my mind go to waste in front of the tube watching nonsense. And just a note on the commercials-because it must be said…horrifying does not begin to describe them. This month is “Shivers and Shakes” month, so they are featuring scary movies every evening. In the USA, previews to scary movies can be eerie and give you the gist of the movie. Here though, they show the most disgusting, bloody, violently shocking moments in the movie! There really is no point in watching the movie after you have been forced to watch the vampire rip out a bloody heart and lick the blood about a dozen times each time the commercial airs. If you switch the channel, it is likely that you will see a commercial with a “To Be Continued….” I’m not kidding, they actually leave you in suspense. Will the sexy man find his dream girl radiating of Oil of Olay soft pink shimmer moisturizer? Talk about advertising!

Finally, I must voice my pathetic little frustrations with our cook. I have transformed. I used to be completely uncomfortable with the idea of hired help, which sounds bizarre, since I have worked as a house cleaner and a nanny. But at my age, I never dreamed that I would hire help. I mean hello! I’m 22! However, I no longer feel the need to sympathize with my cook. In fact, I wanted to scream at her yesterday.

First of all, we found out the other day that she is completely overpaid. It’s okay because she speaks broken-English and makes a damn fine meal. Still, I am get slightly irritated at this news. Then, when we ask her to start making lunches (because they stopped bringing lunch to the office for us) she pouts. Pouts and complains! Even though it is her job, and we give her mornings and weekends off, she pouts! Then, we all got sick because of some potatoes that she cooked. When confronted, instead of accepting the blame, she made excuses and suggested that it was something else that we ate. She is the only person that cooks for us! We weren’t even mad or rude; we just wanted her to cook the potatoes longer and at a higher heat! Finally, last night was the kicker… I was in a deep sleep and feeling under-the-weather, and she comes waltzing into my room and wakes me up to come eat dinner. I tell her I’m sleeping, and she continues to wake me up. I tell her I’m still sleeping, and she continues to wake me up. I tell her that I AM STILL SLEEPING, and she CONTINUES TO WAKE ME UP! Ooohhhh I was so bugged! Is it too much to ask not to be forced to eat? Is it too much to ask to be left alone when I’m face down in a pillow?

What is my deal?! Am I allowed to get frustrated? I think the difficult thing, is that Winnie and Sonal make it quite clear that our cook is completely pampered by us. It is hard to be stuck in a triangle between us (unknowing foreigners), our pouting cook, and our bosses who are in disbelief by her overly-ideal situation. I think back to when I was a house cleaner, or a nanny, and if my bosses asked me to do something, I would, of course do it! No pouting involved! It’s a job! It’s what you get paid to do! It’s what you are hired for!

Okay, enough venting.
Breath.

TGIF

It’s finally Friday! What a week! The kids have got me tired out! We have had 2.5 hour rehearsals every day this week and that means a whole lot of yelling and organizing while they run around like hooligans. But, the week is over and now relaxation can begin.

Vijay came over last night and taught us about chakras and meditation. I was in the mood for some asanas, but I think the theory behind the chakras are pretty fascinating. Each "zone" in your body has a specific chakra color and when you do the "om" chanting, it is supposed to cause vibrations in three different body zones. This is why chanting the "om" is so good for your health. Interesting! After the lecture, Vijay negotiated with Nancy to buy her laptop off of her, and I thought about food.

I only have two more weeks of work, which is a strange feeling. I feel like there is still so much that we can accomplish. For example, I would really like to make it over to the vocational school to hold a workshop with the women for the campaign. I’ve talked with the kids about the campaign, so I hope that they understand the concept behind the dance show, but that’s not enough.

I’m a little nervous about traveling after this internship. Mostly worried about my luggage situation (I feel like I have way too much that I am bringing with me, and I’m not sure how to downsize) but also nervous about the people that I’ll be traveling with. I have no idea who these people are and I’m going to be spending 20 days with them! I guess this is how I always feel before departing on a new journey though.

Nothing more to say.
Peace.

The Show Must Go On

We have started yoga at the office. Every morning for 15 minutes, we stretch and meditate with Vijay amidst the dogs. Surprisingly, it actually wakes me up and energizes me for the day. Energy is definitely something that I have been in need of lately. I’m on a strict schedule these days with yoga, Pilates, LSAT preparations and applying to jobs and walking downstairs for my daily popsicle. I don’t know how I’m fitting in dinner!

Yesterday, work had me completely pooped! I taught approximately a zillion kids dance for 2.5 hours. My voice was hoarse from yelling directions and my body was damp with sweat. By the end of the day, I felt like ripping out my hair. However, I’ve been informed that the dance performance will definitely be happening either: this Friday, next Friday, or the Friday after that. Sigh. Either way, the kids are working hard and have learned all of the choreography. It’s pretty impressive and I’m proud of them. I’m getting anxious to see how they perform and who attends the show. It will be held at a local school, so I wonder if Maitri will be inviting other community representatives. I don’t want to make a complete fool out of myself if they just get up on stage and act goofy. (This is definitely a possibility) And I’m afraid that with the language barrier, I won’t be able to demonstrate how serious this is. It is definitely a chance for them to have fun, but they need to understand the vision behind the show.

That’s all for now. Peace.

Om.

This weekend was a chance to escape the hustle and bustle of our busy week. The most noteworthy thing that I accomplished was some studying for the LSAT. I have decided that I’m going to concentrate on this thing that I want, and approach it with a positive attitude (channeling The Secret) and will work my tail off until I’m satisfied with the results. Unfortunately, this “thing” is the LSAT, which just might be the most difficult thing in the world to study while I’m in beautiful, exotic, enticing India. Regardless, it is the only immediate solution to the stress that I have been feeling about “THE FUTURE”…that dreaded thing that is looming in the very near distance and haunting me constantly. I shouldn’t be worried about it while I’m here. I can hear Colin telling me that I shouldn’t worry so much, that I can’t really do anything about it now, that I need to chill. But, to be quite frank, it takes a lot of energy to chill right now. I keep thinking that I have time, but really, "real life" starts in a mere six weeks. I feel like I’m spiraling out of control.

Another solution to the whirlwind, besides studying for the LSAT: yoga. We have started a full time yoga-thon with our personal yogi, Vijay. We’ve kicked it into high gear folks, and have been practicing yoga daily from 1-3 hours, complete with stretches, breathing, visualization and "oooommms." Yesterday, we had our first meditation lesson. As I was escaping to the “dark place” behind my forehead and letting go of everything, but simultaneously becoming aware of everything, my body was tingling. I was carrying myself through the universe, visualizing the stars, and landed on my family’s dock at Walloon Lake looking up to the midnight galaxy; only the galaxy was being harnessed within my skull. About a half an hour later (which felt like three hours), I was snapped back into the dirty and bug filled carpet in the living room in my apartment. Vijay explained that women have an easier time channeling our spiritual “one-ness” because we are connected to the cosmic mother. Women are noble, which is why we have been given the ability give birth. Okay, I can buy it.

Vijay isn’t messing around…unless he is. And if he is messing around, it involves us sitting around in our bedroom listening to Timberland. He’s quite the hip little yogi. SO, in conclusion, I’m actually really getting “into” this whole yoga thing. It is finally clicking with me…my long hiatus from a religion/spiritual connection may just be ending.

Peace.

UNAIDS Conference (and a little slice of inspiration)

This afternoon, we were shuttled from work to the Press Room for lunch. The Press Room is a "old boys" style club for all of the people who work for the press and it hasn’t changed since it was first installed. The walls are deep wooden planks, shellacked with shine and held together with grease and sweat. The chairs are plastic picnic chairs with a thin layer of dust and the flies buzz in and out of dishes. Even the waiters are institutions. We scarfed down some mediocre fried food and were hurried to the UNDP compound for the UNAIDS conference.

I was feeling anxious all day, unsure of what to expect. I envisioned a modern board room with no character and men in expensive suits casually talking about the AIDS crisis in India over chai. Instead, the room resembled an elementary school classroom, with green carpet and florescent lighting. There were five tables set up in no particular formation and AIDS Competence Posters taped to the wall in a crooked fashion. The attendants were dressed semi-formally and resembled regular Joe Shmoes. Instead, I would later find out that they were nothing but ordinary, instead they were Country Directors and CEOs. The purpose of the conference was to present the model of The Constellation for AIDS Competence. It calls for a social vaccine in lieu of a biological solution. The battle of HIV is not decided in health sectors like other illnesses such as smallpox. It is decided in bedrooms and people's private lives. We cannot control AIDS; maybe to ourselves, but not to others. Instead, there is a need for facilitation for local ownership. In other words, there needs to be an openness in communities to communicate how they can measure their own behaviors, change and move on, while eliminating discrimination.

The second portion of the conference was a demonstration to a self assessment tool. The purpose of the self assessment was to evaluate where you are individually and as an organization and where you want to be. To demonstrate the importance of including the whole community in this exercise, the Country Director of UNAIDS said, “If we don’t include the whole community, then we are dreaming by ourselves and we can create a nightmare.” There needs to be a moment of introspection when you realize that you are on a rotating plane and regularly assess where you are, and how you can make improvements, not only for yourself, but for the whole.

I walk away from the conference with this sense of hopefulness and urgency to continue and complete my goals for this internship. Though it is likely that I won’t get everything done in the way that I had envisioned, there is no reason not to try my darnedest to be heard, and to get the messages that I believe out into the community. So, from this point on, I plan to implement my campaign. I will put on the dance performance, whether it is on a stage or in the classroom. It will happen because I will make it happen. “What is not discussed does not exist,” so I will discuss and I will act and I will change.

Peace.

A "Little Miss Sunshine" Moment to Remember

Yesterday was the inauguration of the OMAXE Construction project. There was a surprisingly full turn-out. I say surprisingly, because the invitations were sent out two days in advance in a typical Indian fashion. Nonetheless, there was plenty of support from various NGOs around Delhi, including UNAIDS, UNDP, NACO and Act on Aid. We were in charge of presenting flowers to some of the most distinguished guest speakers, taking photos and registering guests. The program was short and sweet, and concluded with cake and chai.

Afterwards, the interns piled into a little white stick-shift and were off....so we thought. Little did we know, that what seemed like a well running hunk of metal, was actually a broken down piece of shit. Now, I kid you not...the car stalled LITERALLY every 2-5 minutes. We had to get out (in Delhi traffic, sticky heat, and dressed in heels) to push with all our might (Little Miss Sunshine style) until the car was started, run to catch up, and jump in. It was by far, the funniest thing that I have experienced this summer-maybe ever. We had cars honking and people gawking at the crazy white kids trying to get their piece of crap car to start. Of all the wild things that I've witnessed in India, this was my one moment to be the "show." If only I had a video.

Tomorrow is the International UNAIDS Conference, which we have been invited to. (eek!) This is truly a once in a lifetime experience. We will be in charge of registration again and keeping the meeting minutes. Look forward to a blog update soon!

Peace!

Haryana Police Project, Sex & the City, etc.

After opting out of a trip to Amritsar to stay home and relax, our weekend was anything but relaxing. On Friday night, some friends took us out for dinner and drinks at this big fancy shmancy mall and I was able to enjoy my first sips of Indian alcohol. The restaurant was decorated in Irish pub/sports club decor, played obnoxiously noisy early 90's hits from the United States and served delicious Indian cuisine. After dinner, when we tired of yelling over the tunes, we decided to catch a movie as it was still early (a mere 10:00) So, I finally got to see the much anticipated Sex & the City movie. While I have my own little critiques (that only a true fan could notice) overall, I was completely satisfied. After being stuck in awful traffic on our journey home, we didn't crawl into bed until 2:30am. These Indians sure know how to have a good time!

Saturday, we returned to the fancy shmancy mall. After watching Sex & the City, a girl just NEEDS to go shopping. Watching the women of walk around New York in their fantastic clothes and shop like there is no tomorrow was like dangling cocaine in front of a recovering addict. I justified my purchases by reasoning that since we didn't go to Amritsar (which would have been a pricey journey), I was allotted a certain amount of spending money for the weekend. What can I say, shopping is in my genes. No way around it!

Our yogi (Vijay) arrived on Saturday night to teach us private yoga lessons. He is coming to our house to teach us yoga 4 times a week because “he has A LOT to teach us.” Hopefully by the end of this summer I’ll be a flexible little yoga master, filled with the knowledge of mind and body unity. Perhaps this will be my pathway to enlightenment. The principals of yoga make sense to me; becoming one with your body and spirit simultaneously to reach a personal nirvana. It is like an extension of the connections and awareness to my body that I made through dance.

Sunday, we finally made it to Old Delhi. Unfortunately for us (fortunately for my wallet) all of the shops that came highly recommended were closed! Instead, we visited the Red Fort (which was the center of Mugal power in Delhi). As much as I love forts (which is about as much as I love dirty dishes and cockroaches), I was ready to go home and take a nap when the sightseeing was over. Little did I know, the day was just beginning....

Sunday evening we watched the Wimbledon Championship for five hours (including two breaks for bad weather)which I must say was just phenomenal. First of all, the match itself was one of the most intense matches I've ever witnessed. Now, let’s be honest, I haven’t watched too many tennis matches in my life, but I’m certainly going to start. It is such a fast paced sport, with such athleticism and sportsmanship. I felt like I was watching a fast paced basketball game (one of my all time favorite sports), minus the jock jams. Second of all, Nadal is such a sweet little piece of meat, I just wanted to break off a piece of his behind and eat it with a scoop of ice cream. We were up until 2:00am (AGAIN), drooling/at the edge of our seats until Nadal rocked it and took home the cup. The underdog pulled through in the end, breaking the record for the first person to win both the French Open and Wimbledon in one year, and blocking Federer’s chance of holding the record for six straight Wimbledon wins.

Yesterday was rather frustrating and hectic. We woke up early and eager, dressed in our classy suits and headed to the office an hour earlier than usual to head to Haryana for a workshop with a the Police Academy. We got to the office, and no one was around and our excitement started to fade. Apparently, we were supposed to get picked up at our apartment (though no one informed us). Then, once we were picked up at the office, we were told that we were supposed to bring a video camera (though no one informed us). So, we had to go back to our apartment to get the camera. Then, once we got to Haryana we were told that we should have downloaded what was on the camera onto our computer so that there was more space (though no one informed us). And finally, at the end of the day, after hours of sitting through workshops conducted completely in Hindi, we were told that we should have been taking notes (on what, I’m not entirely sure). All we wanted to do was go back home and crash, but instead we stopped for dinner on the way home. (One of the most bizarre dinners I’ve ever had-not because of the food, but because of the conversation, which basically consisted of Sanjay telling us about maggot and mosquito protein.)

What should have been a 2.5 hour drive became twice that long and involved even more stress when we drove by a shocking accident where two bicyclists had been hit by a truck and were sprawled out on the pavement dead. They were the first dead bodies that I have ever seen and it was almost theatrical how everyone just stood around looking, but not reacting to the tragedy. The traffic was so congested, it was apparent that there was no hope of an ambulance making it to the scene anytime soon, if at all. The thing is, as I gaped at the dead bodies, I couldn’t connect that they were dead. That their families were probably waiting at home for them. That they had a life. That their life was over. I just couldn’t fathom it. And even now, a day later, I’m still shocked at what I saw. No one did anything. No one even moved their bodies out of the road. Should I have cried? Should I cry? Should I have demanded that we stop the car and check their pulse? Check to see if we could have helped? It is a helpless situation and apparently just everyday life here on an Indian highway. And life just goes on as usual.

Peace.

The ups and downs

This has been a strange week at work. Mornings are dreadfully slow and afternoons are filled with long and productive meetings for the new OMAXE Construction project. We are designing a pilot healthcare program with a strong emphasis on HIV, STIs and TB. It is a unique experience to be included in the creation stage. We will be working with the unskilled laborers who are a migrant community and often use sex workers and drugs. This makes them a high risk population for health problems. The plan is to create a survey and interview the workers to determine what their priorities are and what they are actually at risk for. The project proposal date is sometime next week and then we are kicking it off next Thursday I believe.

The irritating part of this is that it has completely cut into the teaching program and consequently, the dance performance that I was supposed to be planning for Friday. Because the meetings for OMAXE take place in the afternoons, school has been cancelled for the week. While I understand that this has a higher priority, it is hard to cope with the sudden change of schedule when I had such a busy and special week scheduled for the kids. Also, tomorrow is Maitri’s Founders Day and I’m a little bummed that we aren’t going to be able to celebrate it with the children’s dance performance. And yes, this also means that the Human Rights Campaign that I have been looking forward to will also be postponed. C’est la vie.

Regardless, I predict that the program is going to be quite successful. Our team consists of the Maitri staff, statistical experts, as well as the OMAXE management so there are a lot of great minds coming together with varied perspectives. I get to feel all grown up sitting around a conference table, taking notes and contributing to the brainstorming and planning process.

More later. Peace.