again, with the anticipation....

i'll be in india again on sunday. i'm worried. scared. about what? working at a firm, the loneliness, being without colin. i feel like i'm on the verge of tears every three hours. it's stupid, i know. i'm an adult. i can handle this. and i have done this all before. each time, i have an incredible, life-changing experience. but i can't help but feel like this time, i want a companion (namely, colin) to come along with me and experience things for the first time with me. what can i say, i'm a social traveler. and yes, i know i'll meet new people. but it's hard to think about that at the moment.